It's not the spoon that bends - it's only your self.

You've confused me with your musky man smell and made me want to throw you down and eat you like a crumpet and I don't even know what a crumpet is.

Please like you've ever tapped anything but yourself lover boy.

Penny: See I told you not to trust those crazy bitches!
(Joanna gives her a mean stare)
Penny: What?! Too soon?

Joanna: Penny, we're in a crisis. I've got my back against the wall. There's only one thing to do.
Penny: What's that?
Joanna: We need to party.

It's like the hokey pokey - emphasis on the pokey.

No, they're boob-iful.


Morgan: It would be wrong to get married with someone when I'm sleeping with someone else. I may be a lot of things, but I don't cheat...except with my soulmate, obviously.
Penny: Awww, he's got boundaries.

(to Joanna) I'm buying you a muzzle.

Penny: You wore a Vera Chang wedding dress?
Joanna: I couldn't afford Vera Wang.

(looking at pictures of Will taken by Joanna) Stalk much?

Penny: WWNDD?
Joanna: What would Nancy Drew do?

Eastwick Quotes

(voiceover) Sometimes, those with the most powerful abilities are hiding in the most unlikely places.


Chicken hands, you gonna stare at my boobs all day or you gonna buy something?