Family Guy
Sundays 9:00 PM on FOXPeter Griffin Quotes
It enhances my life to know how your life is going!
Peter: Well, I am off to try and get out of this conversation!
Lois: Peter, what did you do?
Peter: He was slightly inconveniencing me and Joe, so we threatened to destroy his family.
Peter: No, you're not supposed to hit it into the water.
Lois: But you hit it into the water.
Peter: I know I hit it into the water.
Lois: But why do they have water if you're not supposed to hit it there.
Peter: Because it's fun! We're having fun!
Peter: Alright, lets dope her up good -- get that mouth off her.
Cleveland: No Peter! The problem is you!
Quagmire: Is your baby pregnant?
Peter: I dunno, Lois is in charge of the kids.
Chris: What should I do dad??
Peter: I don't know -- where's that girlfriend of yours, she seems cool?
Chris: Hey Heather I made your favorite cookies, now I want to hear about your day.
Peter: Hey Lois I heard Katherine Heigl likes to french kiss.
Lois: Oh my god, Chris treats that pile of junk better than Peter treats me!
Lois: I thought you said you'd take care of it!
Peter: I did. He slept with it, now he'll slowly grow to hate it for the next 20 years.
Just last week I let you watch me complain after I ate too many hot wings.
There's nothing here, besides a weird life-sized doll made out of all the stuff that was stolen.
You go home and tell your mother, she's supposed to be a parent, not a friend.
Aw, Quagmire got away with it and learned nothing -- that's great.