You got a good body man, why do you hide it under your robe?

Don't think of it as 20 years -- think of it as two 10 year olds, you sick freak.

You know I'm carrying three handguns and the metal detectors picked up nothing?

Does this mean you're going to move to Europe to make movies?

Have you seen my copy of "Into the WIld?"

Let's go take a ride in my open jeep. I took the doors off so it's extra terrifying.

No, I'm sorry. I thought this was a bank.

Peter: It feels like just yesterday, she was born!
Doctor: You want to cut the cord?
Peter: Yeah, sure!
Doctoer: Okay that wasn't the cord, and now you've got a girl.

Lois: Is that what you really thoguht?
Peter: I did, I really did.

What!? Why's there an animated one of me and you doing it on there?

My name's Evan by the way.

Evan

Lois, please send these back to the factory, I believe they're defective.

Family Guy Quotes

Aunt Margarite [on her video will]: Lois, you were always my favorite niece; I just knew you would find a wonderful man who would make all your dreams come true. But I was wrong.
Peter: And now you're dead. Score one for Peter

But now that you mention it, your face looks like a used condom.

Quagmire