Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at while you're talkin' to 'em

• Permalink: Why do women have boobs? So you got something to look at while y...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Okay, okay, how many dirty stinkin' apes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One dirty stinkin' ape to screw in the light bulb, and two dirty stinkin' apes to throw feces at each other!

• Permalink: Okay, okay, how many dirty stinkin' apes does it take to screw i...
• Added: September 29, 2009

This comic sucks!. He couldn't make me laugh, even if I was laughing my ass off and he was making me do it

• Permalink: This comic sucks!. He couldn't make me laugh, even if I was laug...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Peter: At least I'll be the fattest guy on Spooner Street who's getting a boat.
Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey! I'm getting a boat!
Peter: Aw man, even Della Reese is getting a boat

• Permalink: At least I'll be the fattest guy on Spooner Street who's getting...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Ok, here's the plan. I'll be Charlie and you can all be be my angels! Except you. You be Bosley

• Permalink: Ok, here's the plan. I'll be Charlie and you can all be be my an...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Gloria: Mr. Griffin, I'm Gloria Ironbox. I represent one of your co-workers, Sarah Bennett. She's suing you and the company for sexual harrasssment.
Peter: Sarah, Sarah? I don't--oh, is she the one we video taped taking a dump?

• Permalink: Mr. Griffin, I'm Gloria Ironbox. I represent one of your co-work...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Peter: What day is it?
Lois: Thursday.
Peter: Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm late!
Lois: If you spent less time fixing your hair...
Peter: No Lois, I'm late, late. Do we still have that pregnancy test?
Lois: Are you insane? You can't have a baby.
Peter: Well I don't have a lot of options. I'm Catholic. I thought you'd be happy

• Permalink: What day is it? Thursday. Oh my God! Oh my God! I'm late! ...
• Added: September 29, 2009

What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put 'em in a tub and clean myself with them? Cause that's what soap is for, Lois

• Permalink: What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put 'em in a t...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Peter: Mr. Weed said whoever comes up with the best idea for the big christmas toy gets a huge bonus!
Chris: Why don't you invent the frisbee, dad? That's an awesome toy!
Meg: The frisbee's already been invented.
Chris: Then how come I've never heard of it?

• Permalink: Mr. Weed said whoever comes up with the best idea for the big ch...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Peter: Look I've had a good life and you can always be proud of your father in all of his accomplishments.
Meg: What accomplishments?
Peter: Go to your room

• Permalink: Look I've had a good life and you can always be proud of your fa...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Peter: Woah, woah, woah! Is this the price of my bill or my phone number?
Nurse: Your phone number

• Permalink: Woah, woah, woah! Is this the price of my bill or my phone numbe...
• Added: September 29, 2009

Death: You gotta kill the kids from Dawson's Creek
Peter: I knew it! As soon as that show came on the air I said, "I'm gonna be the one who has to kill 'em."
Lois: It's true, he really said that

• Permalink: You gotta kill the kids from Dawson's Creek I knew it! As soon...
• Added: September 29, 2009