Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCPhil Dunphy Quotes
Don't talk black to me!
Gather round like you're hugging me, but don't touch me!
This stuff's really hitting me. My insides feel like velvet.
If I never wake up, I'd hate for the last thing you ever said to me to be a lie.
We raised our kids right. One of them will come forward, or the other two will rat them out.
Claire: We're gonna pass into legend. The parents who canceled Christmas.
Phil: I thought you'd be happy.
Claire: They'll write songs about us. They'll make a Christmas special with those ugly little clay pieces.
Phil: I can forgive the smoking, but I can't forgive the lie.
[Claire glares at him]
Phil: Or the smoking.
I guess the couch did it to itself. I guess it came home after a tough day, lit up a cigarette and burned itself. Is that what happened? Because that makes no sense.
Phil: Goodbye Dunphy Christmas. Haley, I guess you're not getting that car.
Haley: I was getting a car?
Phil: No, I was lying. Because that's what Dunphys do now, we're liars.
Claire [to kids]: Which one of you was smoking?
Phil: Not me, I have a respiratory problem.
Claire: Obviously, not you.
Phil: Where's mom?
Phil's Dad: Mom is sinking fast.... she's in the bath tub.
You have nothing to fear, but fear itself... and the concrete.
