Raj: That was pretty badass, dude.
Sheldon: I help the weak. It's yet another way I'm exactly like Batman.

Jimmy: What do you think about a pair of glasses that makes any movie you want into 3D?
Raj: That sounds amazing. First movie I'm watching -- "Annie."

Sheldon: Hummingbirds are the vampires of the flower world.
Raj: Still my first choice for an ankle tattoo. Or, a dolphin -- I go back and forth.

Raj: Come on, Sheldon, Star Wars.
Howard: I'm pushing play. I mean it. If we don't start soon, George Lucas is going to change it again.

Raj: None of our gods have abs like that.
Howard: Yep, that's the last Jew who did sit-ups. And look where it got him.

I couldn't find you guys, so I bought six new friends. Sadly, three are dead.

Raj: She gives me things, too.
Raj's father: Yeah, yeah, I'm a gynecologist. I know exactly what she gives you.

Raj: Whatever, dude. She kissed me.
Howard: It might've been on your lips but it was my kiss.
Raj: Oh, fine, let's agree she kissed both of us.
Howard: Okay.

Tell her her eyes shimmer like opalescent lilies in the lake of the palace of the celestial maidens.

Raj: Okay, I'm going to play it cool. Tell her, "Maybe. Whatever, babe."
Howard [translating in sign language to Emily]: He'll text you.

Raj: I don't know if I want to play anymore.
Sheldon: Because you don't have a girlfriend? Well, good lord, if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons, this game's in serious trouble.

Howard: This may be hard for you to hear, but when I say "honey," I mean my fiancee.
Raj [whispers into Howard's ear]
Howard: Yeah, well, now it means her.

TBBT Quotes

Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Raj's poem

Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine... I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's... rum and Coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?