Ray Hueston Quotes
Ray: It's a Subaru - fully automatic.
George: What's a Subaru?
(making zapping noises at an ice block) I'm zapping it like Ice Man in X-Men...from the Marvel Series.
Jonathan: I'm really hung over from that vodka.
Ray: Well, you gotta write something. I did my best work hung over. I have less brain cells to confuse the issue.
Jonathan: Leah has kids, and you guys have been together for a while.
Ray: Yeah, but that is terrible. Those kids pay me no respect. They call me fat... and hairy. You know, they could lose a few pounds themselves.
Leah: Her name's Allison. She's a radical vegan.
Lisa: I know a lot of radical vegans. She must be really lonely.
Jonathan: Where's Ray?
Leah: He's in the bathroom masturbating.
Jonathan: What?
Ray: I'm almost done. Just three more tugs.
Leah: I'm proud of you for going to therapy. (kisses Ray who doesn't kiss back)
Ray: I'm sorry, I can't tonight. That guy eviscerated me. My penis is totally recessed.
Leah: What?!
Ray: When I was a little kid, I used to like to push my penis in to make it look like it disappeared. Today, it happened all by itself.
Ray: Okay. I'll trade you therapy for sex. It's been almost three weeks.
Leah: I think it's sweet you know how long it's been. (goes to Ray and hugs him)
Leah: I don't feel good about this. I don't want you to be a sperm donor.
Ray: But it's flattering. They're fans of my work. I've never had lesbian fans before.
Leah: They should go to a sperm bank. You can't just give your sperm to two girls you met in a cafe.
Ray: I met you in a cafe.
Yousef: (looking at Jonathan's black eye then to Ray) Lovers quarrel?
Jonathan: Ummm...more or less.
(to Ray before his colonic) Don't be scared. It will a good experience for you, I promise. I am going to find all your treasures.
Yousef
When I'm with her, I'm going to eat vegan, but when I'm not with her, I'm going to eat like an American.