Ross Geller Quotes
Monica: God, look what I found in the drain.
Rachel: What?!
Monica: It's some of Richard's hair! What do I do with this?
Ross: Getting it away from me would be job one.
Monica: It's weird, but you know what? I don't wanna throw this away. I mean this is like all I have left of him... gross, drain hair. Ooh!
Rachel: Why the hell didn't you tell me!
Ross: I'm sorry. What was I supposed to do? Stand up and shout "Hey, Rachel, your butt is showing!"
Rachel: Yeah, better you than Barry's uncle. Oh, my God this is so humiliating. I think the only thing that tops that was, was, was when I was in the eight grade and I had to sing the "Copacabana" in front of the entire school. I think I got about two lines into it before I ran and freaked out. Oh, my God, my entire life is flashing before my eyes.
Ross: Rach, hey look, I remember that, it wasn't so bad.
Rachel: Oh Ross, would you stop, you got me, I'm dating you.
Monica: Joey, you know, maybe you're just not used to kissing men. Maybe you just tensed up a little bit. Maybe that's what you need to work on.
Joey: Yeah, that makes sense.
(Joey looks over at Ross)
Ross: Over my dead body.
(Joey looks over at Chandler)
Chandler: And I'll be using his dead body as a shield.
Ross: Hi Dr. Green. So how is everything in the, uh, vascular surgery... game?
Dr. Green: It's not a game Ross, a woman died on my table today.
Ross: I'm sorry. See that's the good thing about my job. All the dinosaurs on my table are already dead.
Rachel: Can you keep my dad occupied? I'm gonna go talk to Mom for a while.
Ross: Okay. Do you have any ideas for any openers?
Rachel: Just stay clear of, "I'm the guy that's doing your daughter!" and you should be okay.
Chandler: Hey.
Ross: What?
Chandler: Do you have to be a Century 21 real-estate agent to get to wear those really cool jackets?
Ross: Do you say this stuff to girls?
Ross: Maybe getting beat up is just something every guy has to go through once in his life, like a rite of passage or something.
Chandler: Well, couldn't we just lose our virginities again? Because actually I think mine's growing back.
Joey: Haven't you ever gotten beat up before?
Ross: Yeah.
Joey: I mean, by someone besides Monica.
Ross: No.
Ross: Okay, and then you take the poopie diaper and you put it in the poopie diaper pail.
Rachel: Okay Ross, just so you know, calling it a poopie diaper doesn't make this process any cuter.
Monica: With that moustache doesn't Chandler remind you of Aunt Sylvia?
Ross: (Sounding relieved) Thank you!
Rachel: (Excited about Ben's first word) Ben just said "hi!"
Ross: What, the word "hi?"
Rachel: Yea, no, my Uncle Hi.
Ross: (About Rachel's book) I, I don't know, it's got all this stuff about wind and trees and there's some kind of sacred pool in it. I mean, I don't really get it but she's, she's pretty upset about it.
Joey: See, this is why I don't date women who read.
