Ross: Wait a minute. The house is built on radioactive waste and an ancient Indian burial ground? That would never happen.
Phoebe: Okay, you obviously don't know anything about the U.S. government.

Ross: Uh, Pheebs, while we're hovering around the subject. I just have to say dinosaurs, they, they don't go "ruff!"
Phoebe: The little ones do.

Ross: (Eavesdropping on Rachel and Mark) The door's closed! I can't see anything with the door closed!
Chandler: And the inventor of the door rests happily in his grave.

Ross: How did the date go with Mr Millionaire?
Chandler: Mr Millionarire, new from Snooty Playthings! Third wife sold separately!

Ross: (About Mark) I knew it. I knew it. I always knew she liked him. You know, she'd say no, but here we are, right? We just broke up, first thing she does!
Chandler: You didn't just break up.
Ross: Hey, it's been, like, three weeks!
Chandler: You slept with somebody three hours after you thought you broke up. I mean, bullets have left guns slower.

Chandler: I can blow dry it. I can put gel on it. It doesn't matter, I still wind up with this little cowlicky thing on the middle part of my head. It's so annoying. Does it bug you?
Ross: You bug me.

Ross: Well, maybe the crazy fog has lifted and she realizes that life without me... sucks.
Chandler: It's possible. You are very lovable. I'd miss you if I broke up with you. Just trying to be supportive.
Ross: Then be supportive like a guy.
Chandler: (In a deeper voice) If I broke up with you, I'd miss you.

Ross: You, ah, wanted to see me?
Rachel: Yeah. Ah, here's a box of your stuff.
Ross: What?
Rachel: Oh, ya know, it's just like hats, and a shirt, and CDs, just sort of stuff that you've left here.
Ross: What are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me or something?
Rachel: No. Ross, it, it just seems that ya know, it's time we, we ya know, move on.

Phoebe: What, he's 18.
Ross: Exactly, it'll be illegal for him to drink at his own bachelor party.
Joey: Yeah or to get a hooker.
Chandler: Always illegal, Joe.

Phoebe: (to Joey) You're Frank's best man?!
Joey: I couldn't help it. There love is so pure.
Phoebe: Well then, (to Ross) what about you?! Huh?!
Ross: I'm the ring bearer.

Ross: It's just that hypnosis is beyond crap.
Rachel: Ross, I watched you get hypnotized in Atlantic City.
Ross: Hey, that guy did not hypnotize me! Okay?
Rachel: Oh right, 'cause you always pull your pants down at the count of three and play "Wipe Out" on your butt cheeks.

Joey: So, Ross. If you had a million dollars, what's the first thing you'd buy?
Ross: I'd probably get some municipal bonds, and then put the rest of the money in the bank and live off the interest.
Joey: Well, we've heard from Dr. Fun.

Friends Quotes

Rachel: Daddy! Daddy listen to me! It's like all my life everyone's told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Well, what if I don't want to be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse or a hat? No I don't want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a hat. It's a metaphor Daddy!
Ross: You can see where he'd have trouble.

Chandler: So, Saturday night, the big night, date night, Saturday night. Saturday night!
Joey: No plans, huh?
Chandler: Not a one.