Samantha: You work out huh?
Andrea's date: Yeah.
Samantha: Yeah. That would be helpful when Andrea's husband gets out of prison.

Samantha: I don't like the way that he is treating Andrea. I mean does he, why is he stringing her along? I mean does he not like her or something? I mean what, what is he afraid of commitment? Like what's the deal?
Seth: I'll ask him about his feelings next time we get our nails done!

Brad: Wow. Amnesia. I'm sorry.
Samantha: Oh no, no. It's okay. It's sort of like having a surprise party every single day. Like finding out about us, surprise.

Samantha: So, he was my first kiss, huh?
Samantha: Yeah, you'd come back from your week and you'd tell me all about it, and I remember every single detail because I use to write about it in my diary, except I'd use my name instead of yours

(Voice over) No matter how hard I keep landing, I guess I owe it to myself to fall, because the heart wants, what the heart wants, and apparently, mine wants a nasty bruise.

Samantha: She's suppose to be my friend, how can she do this?
Dena: You did say you didn't want Brad.
Samantha: No I didn't, I said I didn't want to want him. That doesn't mean that I don't want him. Which I don't
Dena: I can't believe she got confused.

Todd: I wanna be with you on your birthday. I wanna start clean with you. I wanna be part of your life again.
Samantha: It's my birthday?!

(voiceover) When they write the book of my life, what section will I be in? Mystery? Horror? Romance? Or just misfiled and jammed in the back under military history?

Samantha: No, I can't, I can't do it like this...
Todd: Sure you can, just hold under the civil war and put your foot on the Korean conflict.

Samantha: Thank you for helping me find this book on tanks.
Todd: No, tank you.

(end voiceover) You know that thing about touching the plate after the waiter tells you it's hot? The most exciting time is that moment right before you touch it. After that, you're just an idiot sitting in a restaurant with a burnt finger. The truth is, as one who's had my share of meals, it's a lot more fun when you're not in pain.

Samantha: My heart is still beating like crazy. You gotta feel this. (takes Dena's hand and places it on her chest)
Dena: Yeah, I'm kind of creeped out by the fact that there's something in our chests that's pumping blood. I do not like that.

Samantha Who? Quotes

Sam: Couple of good things about being in a coma: no fattening food, lots of rest, they sponge you down every day. It's like a spa. Bad things: my nose itches, I have something called the "Pina Colada Song" stuck in my head, and, oh yeah, sometimes I can hear what people in my room are saying.

Sam: Good things about amnesia: all new clothes, no re-runs. Bad: every minute is like that dream where you haven't been to class all year, and the test is now.