Charlie: Maybe it's none of my business but it seems that if you want people to read you then you need people to read about you first. Get Gossip Girl's attention. Even a date would do it. Then steal her thunder by telling the real story on your blog.
Serena: You know you may be an evil genius.
Charlie: When I want to be.

Cece: Enough! This is my granddaughter Charlie Rhodes. I was there the day she was born, she is my family. I don't need any proof. I know it in my bones.
Serena: You should go before we call the police.
Max: Just remember, I warned all of you.

Serena: I see you two have found each other. No need for introductions, right Max. And Ivy.
Charlie: Serena, this isn't what it looks like.
Serena: Oh, so you two didn't used to date?
Charlie: We did.
Serena: And you didn't pretend like you've never met?
Max: We did.
Serena: And you didn't try to convince me not to see him again because he may still be hung up on his ex, Ivy?

Max: Why would you trust an anonymous baker when you have a master chef in your midst? You could be my sous for the afternoon.
Serena: Could we cover ourselves in flour and lick spoons and do other cute things?
Max: That's a prerequisite.

Diana: Aren't you tired of swimming in Gossip Girl's fishbowl?
Serena: Well I'd have to do it my own way.
Diana: I'd expect nothing less.

Diana: Jane and I have history. She doesn't always like to be reminded of it, but it's been awhile since I did.
Serena: What kind of history?
Diana: Some things are best left to the imagination. So, how bad do you want your problem to go away?

Serena: I gave Dan my word that I would protect him. He's one of my best friends. Please, don't do this to him.
Jane: It's already done. And you know what? I'm taking you off this project. Effective immediately. Like Dan you're just too close to it.

Jane: Inside will be the next Social Network. We're gonna Zuckerberg him.
Serena: Jane, this is unfair.
Jane: I prefer to let the audience decide what's fair or not.
Serena: Dan is not like that. Why don't I put a dinner on the books for all of us and this way you'll see.
Jane: The next time I see Dan will be at Cannes when I'm shaking his grateful hand on the dais.

Dan: But how can I guarantee that she's not just going to screw it up?
Serena: Because I won't let her. She may not know this world, but I do. And I will protect your story and you.
Gossip Girl: Careful, S.
Dan: I have your word?
Serena: You have my word.
Gossip Girl: Everybody knows the road to hell is paved with good intentions. And shady bosses.

Dan: Whatever Jane sent you here to say, why don't you just say it.
Serena: Well we both think that you should waive your right to write the script.
Dan: Why would I do that?
Serena: Because if you write it your project will be stuck in development hell.

Jane: We'd love if you could open up the world of the Upper East Side a little bit more.
Natalie: Rich people are so hard to like. Maybe you could add someone more relatable.
Dan: I thought I did that already.
Serena: I think Dan is referring to his main character, Dylan Hunter. He'll appeal to everyone. He starts off as an innocent from Brooklyn.
Jane: Who quotes Hawthorne and screens Fellini films? I don't think so.

Serena: So Mr. Screenwriter, are you ready for your first development meeting?
Dan: I think so. As long as you guys don't want to change the ending. Or the beginning. Or all the stuff in the middle.

Gossip Girl Quotes

Even Blair Waldorf can not bend DNA to her will.

Dan

Hazel: Do you know what you're doing, Little J?
Jenny: I'm not Little J anymore.