Eric: I did call him.
Johnny Drama: Well what did he say?
Eric: He said his foreskin was more supportive than we are.
Scott: I thought Dice was a jew?
Johnny Drama: He's reformed.
Turtle: Nobody puts Baby in the corner.
Sofia: Dirty Dancing.
Turtle: Yeah, it was on last night. I was flipping by.
Shauna: No one cares. Baby, to your corner.
Shauna: Nice of you to show Ari.
Ari: Nice of you to lose the baby weight. What do you have like nine kids now?
Shauna: Three asshole.
Ari: Really, did you figure out who the fathers are?
Shauna: Don't take it out on me you don't have an excuse for those extra pounds...
Ari: Eh, I'm still at 6% body fat, OK?
Shauna: Yeah, and still 94% full of shit.
Shauna: Break out your little black and white composition notebook, Eric, and I want you to write a 1,000 times, "I promise to control my client."
Eric: What now?
Shauna: This week's Us Weekly: three page spread of Vince and Mandy, including pictures of them massaging produce at Bristol Farms.
Eric: Look, I told you Vince wasn't gonna let the press control his life. Pictures were inevitable.
Shauna: Fuck you, Eric. They look like they're posing for them
Shauna: No cameras! A "Page Six" rumor is one thing, a cover on "US Weekly" quite another.
Eric: We get it. Jesus!
Ari: Do you get it, E? When he goes out, I want you and the retards to be with him.
Shauna: If anyone tries to take a picture of you, you go fucking Sean Penn on them.
Shauna: I'm gonna spin a story that you really aren't Vince's brother.
Vince: At Comic Con, Shauna, I think I'm Johnny's brother
Vince [about R.J. Spencer]: I'm gonna tell him he's a fat, comic book-loving prick.
Eric: Hey listen, this guy's got a website that gets a million hits a day. He can sink a movie faster than Stephen Dorff.
Shauna: Hey, watch it asshole! That guy's my client
[discussing the RJ Spencer interview]
Shauna: Just look at the guy like a prom date. You buy him a corsage, he'll at least give you a hand job.
Turtle: Who the fuck wants a hand job?
Eric: Guess who's breaking bread at 2:50?
Vince: Who eats at 2:50?
Eric: Harvey Wiengard.
Shauna: Oh...Harvey's a prick to work for, but he's a genius. Everything he touches turns to Oscar gold.
Vince: You're the man, E
Turtle: These aren't Taiwanese knockoffs are they?
Shauna: Would I do that to you?
Drama: No, those are real goods. Look at the sheep skin. You can tell these babies were born and raised in the Outback
And you! Give me back those Uggs! I know there not for him, you fat midget.Shauna [to Turtle]
Turtle: You should get me on a talk show. I'd kill.
Shauna: Maybe I'll get you on Springer. Fat, little horny fucks and the women that despise him.
Shauna: What are you laughing at? Maybe I'll get you on Montel with Don Swayze, Joey Travolta and the other retarded star siblings