The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
Sheldon: How many Edisons does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Amy: How many?
Sheldon: Who cares he stole the idea and doesn't deserve his own joke.
Leonard: Stephen Hawking liked our paper. Said the premise is intriguing.
Sheldon: Good to see you again, Mr. Stephen-Hawking- Liked-Our-Paper.
Leonard: And you as well, Mr. Our-Premise-Is-Intriguing.
Howard: How do you do, Mr. I'll- Admit-That's-Pretty-Cool?
Raj: Yeah, you keep setting me up for failure.
Sheldon: Professor Hawking?
Professor Hawking: Oh, brother, you should see the look on your faces.
Leonard: You really didn't like our paper?
Professor Hawking: I like your paper very much. The premise is intriguing.
Sheldon: Then why are you attacking us?
Professor Hawking: If you were sitting in a chair for 40 years, you'd get bored, too. Anyway, got to go. I promised to help the neighbor kid with his math homework. Ciao.
You mess with the bull, you get the horns. I'm about to show this guy just how horny I can be.
Leonard: Uh, another one says, "The concept shows some real out-of-the-box thinking".
Sheldon: Do you hear that, Mr. Out-Of-The?
Leonard: I do, indeed, Mr. Box-Thinking.
Leonard: You're sure it's good?
Sheldon: My name is right on there with yours. That is a surefire
mark of quality. That might as well say "Directed by Joss Whedon".
Leonard: Okay, partner, let's do it.
Leonard: You wrote a paper on my idea?
Sheldon: I wrote a paper on our idea.
Leonard: When did my idea become our idea?
Sheldon: When I mixed it with Sheldony goodness and cooked it in the Easy-Bake Oven of my mind.
Leonard: This is good. Our idea is really good.
Sheldon: Well, the light bulb in this oven is ridiculously bright.
Leonard: You're giving me a sticker?
Sheldon: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a kitty saying, "Me-wow!"
Leonard: I'm not a preschooler.
Sheldon: Fine, I'll take it back
Leonard: I earned this! Back off!
Penny: Sheldon, we are just people. we talk about the same things you guys talk about.
Sheldon: You talk about if werewolves can swim?
Sheldon: I don't want to tell you how to do your job, but when a mouse completes a maze it gets a food pellet.
Amy: It also gets its brain plucked out with tweezers.
Sheldon: And its last meal was a food pellet? You're a monster.
Sheldon: Nothing more fun than a paradigm shifting evening of science.
Penny: (to Leonard) And you thought it was soaping me up in the shower.
Sheldon: There were plenty of ways to pass the time before smartphones were invented.
Leonard: That's true.
Sheldon: I'll look them up... Oh, son of a biscuit!
