Shirley Quotes
Abed: That's my newspaper.
Shirley: What do you need the paper for? You knew what was going to happen yesterday, you Middle Eastern magic 8-ball.
Love is a gamble always, but waiting won't change the dice. Either you roll them or you lose your turn
Shirley [to Annie]
Shirley: My husband's been gone for six months, I think it's time I start embracing being single
Pierce: Message received
Shirley: I need to go to the bathroom first, Britta?
Britta: No, I don't have to go
Annie: I'll go with you
Britta: What, she's offended?
Jeff: Girls go in groups, did you learn nothing from stand up comedy in the nineties?
Shirley: Look, we can still hang out. It's just... we won't bag on people.
Shirley: Come on, Jeff, what are we going to talk about? My- kids? Your doctor career?
Jeff: I was a lawyer.
Shirley: See, I'm already bored
Shirley: I don't see why you and Britta aren't together, two cute white people going to school together, it just seems right
Jeff: Shirley, we're not pandas in a zoo
Shirley: Pierce has always been on my watch list.
Troy: That dude is crazy. He told me girls have two pee holes
Britta: What can i do?
Annie: You can hang the Chacata Panecos piniata
Britta: You guys realize he was beaten to death, right?
Shirley: That's where we got the idea from
Annie: Poignant
Britta: this cause is really important to me
Annie: Are you saying we're not allowed to protest? Britta, you sound like Guatemala
Shirley: Sounds like someone has the case of "someone likes to use fringe politics to make themselves feel special but doesn't want to do anything"-itis
