South Park
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on Comedy CentralStan Marsh Quotes
Kyle: Alright Cartman, I'm gonna give you a jail time card. You lose a turn.
Stan: Sweet.
Cartman: Oh yeah? Well, I'm gonna give you AIDS.
Kyle: What?
Cartman: I just gave you AIDS.
Kyle: AIDS?
Stan: Dude, that's not cool. Don't give Kyle AIDS.
Cartman: (writing) Kyle has AIDS and now loses 47 turns and 800 points.
Cartman: (to Kenny) Goddamn it poor people suck. Your family is already on welfare and now you're gonna bring another kid into the world. Poor people are churning out babies, adding to the population and then expecting ME to pay for it with MY tax dollars.
Stan: You don't pay tax dollars Cartman, you're 8.
Stan: I'm tired Grandpa.
Grandpa: No Billy, you're gonna stay here and watch more McGyver, we gotta get all the Frenchy-poo fag nasties outta ya.
Grandpa Marsh: That grandma's quite a nice piece of ass.
Randy: Ew, dad! Not in front of Stanley.
Randy: Looks like she had a heart attack in the middle of the night.
Grandpa Marsh: Oh, no wonder she didn't say 'Good night'.
Randy: Ew!
Kyle: Dude how long does this thing last?
Stan: Two hours.
(the boys groan)
Close your eyes and cover your ears Billy! Remember you're a man!
Grandpa Marsh
Grandpa: Why the hell do you wanna take these boys to see that fufu French theater crap? You're gonna turn them into poofders!
Sharon: Dad, Stanley needs to see the arts!
Grandpa Marsh: Well he doesn't need to see a bunch of frogs prance around in tights and makeup wrapping their peckers around each other's faces!
Stan: Dude, this isn't working.
Kyle: It's Kenny's singing!
Cartman: Yeah, Kenny, you have to sing better!
Kenny: (I'm singing as good as I can!)
Stan: Well, it's not good enough, Kenny! You have to get better! Try it again!
Grandpa: Aha, I knew it. They turned you into poofders.
Stan: Damn, dude, do you see how much money this place is raking in?
Cartman: Yeah. I could prance around in tights and sing opera too, for that kind of cash.
Mr. Garrison: Now who can tell me what famous person wrote the Declaration of Independence...let me see...how about the new student, Timmy??
Timmy: TIM-MAY!!!
Mr. Garrison: No, it wasn't you Timmy, try again.
Timmy: (garbled words)
Mr. Garrison: Did you not do your homework?
Stan: Haven't you figured it out yet?? Timmy's retarded.
Mr. Garrison: Don't call people names Stanley!!! Timmy, you need to work on your study skills!
Timmy: (garbled noise and blabber)
Mr. Garrison: Are you mocking me?? That's it!! I'm sending your butt to the principal's office!
Stan: Oh my goodness, you killed Kenny.
Kyle: (indifferently) Bastard.
