It's funny. Some people never get to know the folks next door. They share a fence and nothing else, and we shared everything. How did we get to be so lucky?

Did you see those legs? How could you not want to be married to those legs?

I'm sorry. I've never been good with ass comments.

Killers don't wear aprons.

I don't know how to tell people what kind of man Mike was... what kind of father, husband and friend he was. I just never thought I would have to sum up his life before he was done living it.
 

Susan: Perfect! My best gay. Who else better to practice on? Good morning, Lee!
Lee: This is Bob's mother. OH MY GOD!

Gaby: I'm worried about you. First, you stop talking to your friends. Now, you're wiggin' out at a rat funeral. You're making me nervous.
Susan: Well, I'm sorry I'm not handling accessory to murder as well as the rest of you.

We're not criminals. We drive carpool.

Living away from you guys has been hard on me. Because sometimes when friends live apart, they sometimes grow apart, too. But, no matter how busy or how crazy our lives are, something always seems to happen to bring us back together. And that started tonight with this dinner. May we have many, many more.

Susan: I promise no feather duster and no purple bra.
Principal Hobson: And no bustier... Nice talking to you.

Mrs. McCluskey: You should go over and talk to Paul. I'll watch M.J.
Susan: Oh, I can't do that. He might be in the middle of something.
Mrs. McCluskey: Or he might be hanging from the showerhead. Do me a favor and check because if he's dead in there, I live downwind.

Mrs. McCluskey: So, post-transplant sex, huh? If it's as good as my post-cancer sex, you're in for a treat.
Susan: Fingers crossed.

Desperate Housewives Quotes

There is a prayer intended to give strength to people faced with circumstances they don't want to accept. The power of the prayer comes from it's insight into human nature. Because so many of us rage against the hand that life has dealt us. Because so many of us are cowardly. And afraid to stand up for what is right. Because so many of us give into despair when faced with an impossible choice. The good news for those who utter these words is that God will hear you and answer your prayer. The bad news is that sometimes the answer is no.

Mary Alice

I love you once. I love you twice. I love you more than beans and rice.

Mike