The Janitor Quotes
Janitor: (Watching Turk air performing) I don't know what "IT" is, but he's got it.
Lloyd: He's going to be trouble...
Janitor: I know, but he's so damn talented.
Janitor:We don't just rock together, we roll together.
Janitor, Lloyd, Ted, Turk: ::pounding chests:: Cool cats.
Janitor: Watch it - wet paint. Kelso's startin' a new line system to help people get around. Green's gonna go to the smoker's lounge; blue, the I.C.U.; yellow to all the exits.
J.D.: What's red for?
Janitor: Sneaker painting.
Dr Cox: Hey you, Where's my son?
Janitor: Oh, he's playing with the birds out on the ledge.
Carla: What?
Janitor: I'm kidding, come on. He's green.
J.D.: You not aware of any sort of odd underground canal system beneath the hospital are you? I think I saw a manatee.
Janitor: Was his name Julian?
J.D.: Well we didn't exchange pleasantries.
Janitor: That's Julian.
Yeah... the little nipper got ahold of a paint gun when I was painting this green line down to the smoker's lounge. Thanks to him, I only got halfway down.
Carla: Why would you ruin this for me? I mean, I didn't even ask you to be there!
Janitor: Imagine that. I been working here thirteen years, and I guess I don't rate as part of the family.
J.D.'s Narration: ...Cursing out an innocent orderly over a stolen physical therapy tub...
Dr. Kelso: Dammit, you better find it! Physical therapy tubs don't just disappear!
J.D.'s Narration: ...Or for some, just a relaxing afternoon soak on the roof.
Todd: Oh, come on, let me in. This totally covers my boys.
(The Janitor taps a sign reading "NO BANANA HAMMOCKS".)
Janitor: You try and get in here wearing that thing, I'm gonna give you a four-story atomic wedgie.
Carla: I don't know why you did it, but I know it was you.
Janitor: How?
Carla: Because it's always you.
Janitor: It's not always me!
Dr. Kelso: Aaaaaaaaaagggghhhhwhoooooooaaaaahaaaaauuuuuugh! Who the hell put tiny wheels on my shoes!?
Janitor: Well, that's his fault - he took a nap in the lounge.
J.D.'s Narration: It can mean you're not sorry at all...
Janitor: Sorry your picture didn't come out.
Carla: Yeah.
Dr. Cox: I am gonna let Big Bob, here, give the first excuse.
Dr. Kelso: Blah blah blah, I'm not doing it.
Dr. Cox: I'm caught on his collar!
Carla: This picture is happening!
Janitor: No, it's not.
Carla: Oh, what do you know, mop jock?
Janitor: A pretty good couple things over the years: The kitchen fire of '97. The kitchen fire of '98. The arson conviction of Luis the fry-cook. And, of course, the eventual termination of the hospital's Convicts-to-Cooks program. Bottom line - not gonna happen.
Janitor: Aww, either your picture didn't come out, or we got a hospital full of vampire doctors.
J.D.'s Narration: Vampire doctors? How did he hear about my screenplay?
