Carla: Huh? Ya like that?
Todd: I felt it move.
Carla: Todd, you're touching your crotch.
Todd: I know, and I'm loving it.

Carla: Huh. Do you like that?
Todd: Wow. I felt it move.
Carla: Todd, you're touching your crotch.
Todd: I know. And I'm loving it.

Elliot: Did you enjoyed that pancakes that I left on your computer?
Carla: No, but I enjoyed that 3000 ants crawling on my keyboard.
Todd: There are two of them doing it on the 'F' button. I could be wrong but it looks like two girls.

Hot Female Doctor: You know doctor, I'm getting a little tired of your sexual innuendo.
Todd: ...In your endo.

Todd: Nurse I need you to help me to drain some fluid. But first we are going to have to get to work on this patient.
Turk: Todd, take this scalpel and carve this into your arm: No nurse will ever touch your dangle.

Todd: Hey Mickhead! Is that package for me? You know it is!
Turk: You ladies must be so proud.
Elliot: Todd, what are you doing?
Todd: I'm getting my gay-on. Hey buddy, you and I should totally have sex sometime.
Turk: See, I knew this was going to come back to me.

Todd: Hey Lisa! I heard you lied and said we didn't do it. Admit it. We doinked.
Lisa: I was sad because my Dad died.
Todd: I wasn't!

Elliot: Hey, what did you do last night?
Carla: Turk made me watch "Anaconda" with him.
Elliot: Oh is that the one with the giant snake?
Todd: No. (Points to himself) This is the one with the giant snake. I was back here for 45 minutes waiting for a setup. My back is killing me, but I nailed it. It is about commitment.

Carla: I'm having a weird pregnancy craving. Hey J.D., if you go out would you get me a hot Italian sausage?
Todd: I got a hot Italian sausage for you, right here. People think I just luck into these situations but it's really a lot of hard work. You know what else is hard? I should go.
J.D.: I think I may vomit.

Surgeon: Todd, you were impressive in surgery today.
Todd: Thanks man! You were really impressive in the shower this morning. You know, dong wise.

Janitor: What the hell are you?
Todd: I'm the Todd.

Jordan: You know one of the reasons I divorced Perry was because of his last name.
Elliot: You don't like Cox?
Jordan: Actually I love Cox.
Todd: Greatest conversation ever.
Jordan: See, that's the problem.
Woman: This sausage is huuuuuuge.
Todd: 'cuse me ladies, I'm needed elsewhere.

Scrubs Quotes

Jordan: All right, I will see you at home in about an hour. Remember to keep him warm, support his head, check his diaper every fifteen minutes; no bouncing around, no loud noise, no TV, no poking the soft spot. And, Perry, you're the only one in my life that I actually have to say this to: Do not yell at, demean, insult, criticize, humiliate, or mock the baby.
Dr. Cox: What are you talking about?
[Jack starts crying]
Dr. Cox: Waaaah!

Laverne: I need to see you in Mr. Bursky's room.
J.D.: Are you flirting with me? You are, aren't you!