Are you doping, Liz Lemon? That stuff will shrink your testicles, but there are bad side effects as well.

Tracy: Point is, I won't be at rehearsal all this week.
Liz: No, Tracy!
Tracy: Exactly. No Tracy. Thanks for being so understanding.

I need a nap. Dot Com, tell us your most interesting story.

Dot Com: Have you read any of these movie scripts yet?
Tracy: Yeah, I read the one about a handsome genius who lied to two idiots about reading scripts.

You want to be an American. You fill out that ballot because you don't know what you're doing.

Like any penis, Florida is very complicated.

Don't give up. That is not the Lisa Loeb I know.

Kenneth: You've never been wrong about anything before.
Tracy: It's a blessing and a purse.

Liz: That's not how I roll.
Tracy: Thank you for saying that in dated urban slang so that I'll understand you.

I'm sort of the Black Tyler Perry.

Kenneth: ...while we have gotten to second base...
Tracy: You mean a threesome with Robinson Cano?

Kenneth: I need some advice.
Tracy: I recommend you get it from Liz Lemon or an Owl who wears glasses.

30 Rock Quotes

Liz: Have you ever updated your Flash player? It is so sad. What happens to version 11.4?
Jack: Oh, what now?
Liz, yelling: I'm taking hormone shots to have a baby you son of a bitch!

Jack: You should get to know Devon, tell him all of your television ideas. You know he started off as page just like you.
Kenneth: Really? So did I!