The Simpsons
Sundays 8:00 PM on FOXWaylon Smithers Quotes
Mr. Burns: Ah, my beloved plant. How I miss her...Bah! To Hell with this! Get my razors! Draw a bath! Get these Kleenex boxes off my feet!
Smithers: Certainly, sir. And, uh, the jars of urine?
Mr. Burns: Oh, we'll hang onto those.
Mr Burns: (holding a miniature wooden plane) Do you see this plane, Smithers? This gonna help us to take the Spruce Goose and take us outta here!
Smithers: Excellent model, sir.
Mr. Burns: Uh, model?
Mr. Burns: Thank you so much for visiting our plant, Dr. Kissinger.
Henry Kissinger: It was fun.
Smithers: We'll let you know if your glasses turn up.
Henry Kissinger: Uh...yes, well, I'm sure I left them in the car. (Thinking to himself) No one must know I dropped them in the toilet--not I, the man who drafted the Paris peace accord.
Mr. Burns: (holding a miniature plane) We'll take the Spruce Goose. Hop in.
Smithers: But sure I
(Burns pulls out a gun)
Mr. Burns: I said hop in.
Smithers: Don't you think you've gambled enough?
Marge: No.
Smithers: Very well, ma'am. We're required to asked every 72 hours. Enjoy a free round of drinks.
Smithers: Even so, sir, we could stand to lay off a few employees.
Mr. Burns: Oh, very well! (Points at the monitors) Lay off him, him, him, him...(Sees Homer wearing Kissinger's glasses) Hmm...better keep the egghead. He just might come in handy.
Smithers: Someone is charging room service to the company, sir.
Mr. Burns: Well, we'll just see about that!
(Mr. Burns walks over to a cage full of winged monkeys and opens it.)
Mr. Burns: Fly, my pretties, fly!
(The monkeys jump out the window, and fall to the ground.)
Mr. Burns: (Sighs) Continue the research.
Mr. Burns: And I'm really enjoying this so called...iced cream!
Smithers: Sir, in the spirit of the festival and everything I'd just like to say that...I...love...you.
Mr. Burns: Hmm?
Smithers: In those colors!
Mr. Burns: Who's that goat-legged fellow, Smithers? I like the cut of his jib.
Smithers: Prince of Darkness, sir. He's your 11 o'clock.
Vampire Burns: (On the intercom) Come in, come in. Ah, more victims for the vicious undead.
Smithers: Uh, you're supposed to let go of the button.
Vampire Burns: Well son of a bi--(lets go of the button)
(In 1,000,000 A.D. Mr. Burns, his body that of a robot, comes across Bobo)
Mr. Burns: Bobo, I know I say this every century, but I'll never leave you behind again.
(He runs off with Bobo, followed by Smithers, whose body is that of a robot dog)
Smithers: Wait for me, sir! Ruff!
Smithers: On another topic, the preparations for your birthday have begun.
Mr. Burns: I won't get what I really want.
Smithers: No one does.
(He imagines Mr. Burns appearing half-naked out of a cake and singing happy birthday to him.)
