Nico: I haven't felt this alone since I was married
Wendy: You might not want to share that thought at the engagement party

Wendy: Maddie, we've discussed this. Paul is too old for you. If I can't trust you when you leave this house, then you're only going to leave the house for school
Maddie: Fine! Put the ankle bracelet on me since you couldn't put it on dad!

Wendy: Okay look, if you're grossed out by the word salmon skin, let's just go back to the pork chops. Your parents eat meat right?
Victory: My parents will still be eating the dinner rolls they stole from Joe's plane.

Shane: I think I'm going to need another bag
Wendy: I can send you some things
Shane: I'm not really keen on the postal system handling my underwear
Wendy: I'm not really keen on you going on tour not wearing any

Wendy [about Maddie]: Remind me why I was so eager to hear her first words
Shane: Oh the good times will come around again darling. Soon she'll be 16 and she'll stop talking to us all together

Victory: Do we know anyone who knows Howie Mandell?
Wendy: No one is going to open up a brief case that says marry me
Victory: Stop being so grand, think personal

Victory: You are going to love working from home. There's so many perks.
Wendy: Hmm?
Victory: You don't have a grumpy boss in the morning unless you haven't had your coffee
Wendy: It's a reasonable commute
Victory: Private bathroom.. Deal or no Deal is just a quick click away

Victory: I'm going to be the most demure bride ever
Nico: Did you just say bride?
Wendy: Did Joe propose to you?
Victory: No, it's my turn this time, I'm gonna ask him to marry me

Nico [about Victory posing nude]: ...to tie your image to your brand. Look at Martha Stewart, she's very smart she put herself over everything
Victory: Not naked
Wendy: Well, we never saw the prison calendar

Wendy: Show me the upper outer quadrant of your buttock
Nico: Talk about words I never thought I'd hear you say

You don't want to be the girl who peaks in the ninth grade. Come with me to my high school reunion and you'll see what I mean

Wendy: If we're going to have a locavore Thanksgiving it's going to take planning..
Victory: and a BB gun. How do you get a meal out of Central Park anyway? Is there a recipe for stewed squirrel in here?

Lipstick Jungle Quotes

I can't think less of you. You've smelled like mop & glow for the last week.

Victory [to Roy]

Wendy: Sounds like someone is driving without breaks.
Victory [whispers]: Gun it.