Zapp Brannigan Quotes
Ah, Leela! We meet again, but this time I'm the one criticizing the sausage!
Now let's tell these vicious lies and get back to our sacred vows!
Kif, I'm bored. What's say you go out on the wing and pretend you're a gremlin?
Zapp: Now watch, Kif, as I score a diplomatic coup by congratulating the admiral in his native tongue!
Kif: Last time you tried that, the Mexican restaurant declared war on us! I beg you, just use the translator.
Zapp: Kif, just trust me for once. [speaks in alien language]
Translator: I'd like to spank your sister with a slice of bologna.
Zapp: Heheh. Oops.
Kif: It's the Battle of Paco's Tacos all over again!
Blow them to Bac-o-Bits with a well placed warning shot... Oops.
Zapp: These would be great with quack-a-mole.
Lrrr: Stop eating our young! And it's pronounced guacamole!
Lrrr: We demand to eat one human for each Omicronian that was eaten.
Zapp: Fair enough. How many is that?
Kif: 198 billion, sir.
Lrrr: Very well. You will provide us with 198 billion humans. And, uh, small fries.
Lrrr: Oh, alright, cottage cheese!
Leela: You know, this might actually work. The Omicronians seem to have trouble telling one person from another.
Zapp: True. At the negotiations, they thought Kif here was the statesman and I was a jabbering mental patient.
Zapp: My fellow Earthlings, we have reached an agreement. Using the twin guns of grace and tact, I blasted our worthless enemies with a fair compromise. They will not eat everyone on Earth.
Lrrr: I filled up on nuts at the negotiation.
Zapp: Leela, my sweet, I've come to save you. I have a devious plan!
Leela: Oh, great, Captain Moron has a plan. Why don't you tell it to Wingus and Dingus here?
Zapp: Wingus, Dingus, listen up. We're gonna give the aliens the old switcheroo!
Fry: You mean...
Zapp: Correct. I found a giant hideous ape that looks exactly like Leela.
Zapp: I realise this may hurt our chances of consummating our relationship again.
Leela: Go consummate yourself.
Lrrr: Stop talking, you're getting cold.
Waterfall Jr.: It's an orang-utan. One of Mother Earth's most precious creatures.
Zapp: Why'd you open your bong hole, you smelly hippie? You'd sacrifice a beautiful woman to save a moderately-attractive monkey?