If you want company I'm totes avail. Totally available.

Sam, I have a sensitivity question about male piercings.

Zoey: Are you asking me to cover for you?
Jackie: Yes.
Zoey: I've dreamt about this day."

Zoey: The heart wants what the heart wants. You know what I'm talking about?
Jackie: Actually, I don't.

Remember that time I walked in on you guys?

Having Lenny scares me... oh, wow, not having Lenny scares me!

Zoey: Are you sexually active?
Patient: No. I pretty much just lie there.

Akalitus: Zoey Barkow, you want the shift?
Zoey: I'm so flattered.
Akalitus: Don't be here. You just got here first.
Zoey: I'm still flattered.

If I can't find 19-gauge needles when we need them, we are screwed!

It's like I can't see gayness or something. It's so annoying.

Bleeding!

Zoey: Miracles can happen everyday.
Jackie: Like the day they invented rubbers. Try using them.

Nurse Jackie Quotes

Don't ever say "ta-da." The only people that say "ta-da" are magicians or idiots.

Jackie Peyton

Percoset should never be crushed and chewed, unless you want it to hit your system like a bolt of lightening. Which is only a problem if you're afraid of lightening.

Jackie Peyton