Charlie: Clean underwear?
Jake: Cleanish.
Charlie: Not good enough. With underwear there's no grey area.
Jake: Don't worry, it's not grey.
Charlie: Anything but white is unacceptable.
Jake: In that case, then I better change.

Rating: 5.0 / 5.0 (1 Vote)
Charlie Harper, Jake Harper
Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 9: "Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair"
Two and a Half Men
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Charlie Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 7 Episode 9 Quotes

You usually grab my ass like you're holding a tree trunk in a hurricane. This time it was more like you were palming a couple cantaloupe at the supermarket.


Berta: I thought you were taking your girlfriend out for dinner.
Jake: I am, but I thought if I eat first I won't pig out in the restaurant and make her sick.
Berta: Good idea, then you'll have the whole rest of the night to make her sick.
Jake: Exactly. Plus, I won't snap at her if she reaches for one of my fries.