Joe: [in flashback] Easy, Briggs, you kill a cop, they'll put you away forever.
Bobby Briggs: Then get ready to spend the rest of your life as a lame gimp with an annoying-voiced wife.
Joe: He meant Bonnie.

Joe Swanson
Family Guy Season 11 Episode 5: "Joe's Revenge"
Family Guy
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Family Guy Season 11 Episode 5 Quotes

Quagmire: Wait a minute, Bobby Briggs is the one who crippled you? You always told us you fell off a roof during a fight with the Grinch.
Joe: ...I lied.

A police spokesperson was quoted as saying "Duh, I'm a dumb cop, I like to give Tom Tucker a ticket." I was going like 41.

Tom Tucker