Lisa: Ever since that self-help guy came to town, you've lost your identity. You've fallen through the cracks of our quick-fix, one-hour photo, instant oatmeal society.
Bart: What's the answer?
Lisa: Well, this is your chance to develop a new and better identity. May I suggest good-natured doormat?
Bart: Sounds good, sis. Just tell me what to do.

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Bart Simpson, Lisa Simpson
The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 7: "Bart's Inner Child"
The Simpsons
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The Simpsons Season 5 Episode 7 Quotes

You may remember me from such self-help videos as "Smoke Yourself Thin" and "Get Confident, Stupid."

Troy McClure

Groundskeeper Willie: (Speaking into a microphone) If elected mayor, my first act will be to kill the lot of ya, and burn yer town to cinders!
(A man whispers something into his ear.)
Groundskeeper Willie: I know it's on!