Gentlemen, we need to get Lisa Simpson out and Amber Dempsey bac...

Mayor Quimby: Gentlemen, we need to get Lisa Simpson out and Amber Dempsey back in. But this glorified crossing god of a police chief wont get off his big fat can.
Chief Wiggum: Is it okay if I open these potato chips?


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Characters:
Chief Wiggum, Mayor Quimby
Episode:
The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 4: "Lisa the Beauty Queen"
Show:
The Simpsons
Related Quotes:
Chief Wiggum Quotes, Mayor Quimby Quotes, The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 4 Quotes, The Simpsons Quotes
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The Simpsons Season 4 Episode 4 Quotes

Lisa: Do you remember why you entered me in that pageant?
Homer: I dunno. Was I drunk?
Lisa: Possibly. But the point is you wanted me to feel better about myself, and I do.
Homer: Will you remember this the next time I wreck your life?
Lisa: It's a deal!

(Homer tires out the "Guess Your Age and Weight" booth at the school carnival.)
Booth Operator: I'd say 53 and 420 pounds.
Homer: Ha ha, you lose! 36 and 239!

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