Hello. Sorry guys. I'm not sure I've earned the right to make announcements yet, but whoever is giving me the 12 Days of Christmas as my Secret Santa? Please stop. I can't take it anymore. My cat killed a turtle dove; the French hens have started pulling out my hair to make a nest. Please stop.


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The Office Season 6 Episode 13: "Secret Santa"
The Office
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If this were Russia, yeah sure. Everyone would go to one Santa, and there would be a line around the block and once you sat on her lap and she'd ask you what you wanted, you would say probably "freedom." At which point the KGB would arrest you and send you to Siberia. It's a good thing Russia doesn't exist anymore.


My diabolical plan has been put on hold for Christmas. My heart just melts when I hear the sound of children singing. [pauses] Ha! Not really. I'm just tired. Days are short ... I don't know. Maybe I'm depressed.