Dr. Cox: Here's the deal. I have been coerced by the forces of evil into conducting rounds this morning. So in order to make this a more palatable experence for mwah, I am not going to call you by your names, instead I'll be refering to you by whatever distinguishing physical characteristic occurs to me first. Okay...you, chicken beak. What causes pneumonia presenting with diarrhea?
"Chicken Beak": Legionella.
Dr. Cox: Nice job! It turns out your mind is as sharp as your nose. Wow! And you, dye-job, what are the elements of Whipple's Triad?
Elliot: Ah... I can't remember. I am so sorry.
Dr. Cox: What in the hell are you sorry about?
Elliot: Well its just that Doctor Kelso always yells at us when we don't know the answer...
Dr. Cox: Oh children, you can't let that bloated bag of hate effect you like that, and besides being a doctor is as much about finding the answers as it is about knowing them. For instance, take Clarabell's patient over here, Mr. Yeager. Now we have no idea what in the hell is wrong with him, so we have run tests for everything from meningitis to intracranial mass and according to these results... Oh everything seems to have come back negative, which doesn't necessarily mean that Clarabell is a failure, it doesn't. It just means that she's got to keep trying no matter how frusterated she just might get

Show Comments
Elliot Reid, Perry Cox
Scrubs Season 1 Episode 13: "My Balancing Act"
Related Quotes:
Elliot Reid Quotes, Perry Cox Quotes, Scrubs Season 1 Episode 13 Quotes, Scrubs Quotes
Added by:

Scrubs Season 1 Episode 13 Quotes

Elliot: Listen, Carla, I can't even pretend that I can give you tips on intercourse...
Carla: I got one for you - stop calling it that.
Elliot: My therapist thinks my trouble in bed stems from a basic fear of intimacy. But I just think it's just because any type of repetitive motion makes me nauseous. Oh, and since I was a little kid, I've always had nightmares about being crushed.
Carla: That poor shrink

Turk: Baby, there's nothing that could scare me away.
Carla: Ever since we said "I love you" to each other, I've been feeling all this pressure, and wondering about the future - our future. Like, are we gonna get married? Are we gonna have kids? If so, how many, and when will I get my figure back? Should I keep working? Where're we gonna live? Is my mother gonna live with us? How big a house do we need? How many bathrooms? What if my mother walks in on you while you're in the bathroom, you slip and fall, and I can't afford the funeral costs?
Turk: Okay, that's a little scary