I don't care if you can make me cum a river of gold coins with a fuckin' card trick, Virgil. You're not stoppin' by. And besides, I'm not messin' with you again until you get yourself checked out.


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American Rust Season 1 Episode 2: "Happy Returns"
American Rust
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American Rust Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

Make sure you sign them two Andrew Jacksons so they know we were here cause they're gonna be too goddamned hung over to remember anything tomorrow.


Virgil: Hey. Whatever you do, do not write Many Happy Returns. Katie Danek's fat mother just chewed me out for it.
Billy: What's wrong with Many Happy Returns?
Virgil: Apparently, it's bad luck to say it at a wedding? You're only supposed to say it at birthdays and New Year's, and shit. Phyllis Danek just bit my head off! FATASS WALRUS!
Shonie: What happens if you say it at a wedding?
Virgil: I don't know, sugarbush. You probably fall in a hole or something.
Shonie: Sugarbush! [grabs him]
Virgil: Titty twist? Don't be titty twisting me in public!