I enjoy government functions like I enjoy getting kicked in the nuggets with a steel toed boot. But this hotel always served bacon wrapped shrimp. That's my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food. I'd go to a banquet in honor of those Somali pirates if they served bacon wrapped shrimp.


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Parks and Recreation Season 1 Episode 5: "The Banquet"
Parks and Recreation
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Parks and Recreation Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes, Parks & Rec Quotes
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Parks and Recreation Season 1 Episode 5 Quotes

Ron: I like your hairdo, Leslie.
Leslie: Thank you, Ron.
Ron: It's just like my brother's. He's an officer in the Air Force.

Yes, I'm married. But my wife understands that a good politician has to be appealing to the ladies. The fact that I haven't even gotten close to cheating on her is a disappointment to both of us.