Elliot: I had this one first date where the guy took me to play paintball. All he does the whole time is shoot me in the face. After two years with that guy, I'm like, "That's enough!" You know?
Janitor: Ha ha! First dates, huh?... Someone give me seven hundred bucks.
Todd: I went out with this girl, she was like the worst first date ever. I take her for a romantic ferry ride, and for some reason I decide to take it out-
Carla: Okay. Your turn is done.

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Carla Espinosa, Elliot Reid, The Janitor, The Todd
Scrubs Season 4 Episode 16: "My Quarantine"
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Scrubs Season 4 Episode 16 Quotes

Now, keep an eye on the bum's vitals. I gave him enough sedative to put down a rhino.


Kylie: Let's go.
J.D.: Kylie, wait. I paid Steve fifty bucks and an I.O.U. for another hundred and twenty to fake a heart attack. I just-I really wanted tonight to go well.
Kylie: Is there anything else?
Danni: Adios, assface.
J.D.: I had sex with her. A lot.
Kylie: Why are you telling me this?
J.D.: If I don't come clean now, whether it's a few weeks or months or years from now, I know it's gonna come back to haunt me and ruin us, and I don't want that.
Kylie: I'm not looking for a project.
J.D.: Yeah... I understand. It's...
Kylie: So get it together. Now let's go get some coffee.