I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to thre...

Kelly: I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico.
[cut to interview]
Creed: That wasn't a tapeworm.


Rating: 4.4 / 5.0 (5 Votes)
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Characters:
Creed Bratton, Kelly Kapoor
Episode:
The Office Season 5 Episode 1: "Weight Loss"
Show:
The Office
Related Quotes:
Creed Bratton Quotes, Kelly Kapoor Quotes, The Office Season 5 Episode 1 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 5 Episode 1 Quotes

What is wrong with these people? They have no willpower. I once went 28 years without having sex. And then again for seven years.

Michael

Dwight: Wait a minute. One more bite of eclair each. Hold it in your mouth if you can't swallow.
Jim: [looks to Michael for a "That's what she said," but Michael is silent] Really? Nothing?

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  2. I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to thre...