Dwight: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No, I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning the cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later, I get a postcard. I have a son and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris, by the Trocadero. She's been waiting for me all these years; she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.


Rating: 4.6 / 5.0 (76 Votes)
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Character:
Dwight Schrute
Episode:
The Office Season 5 Episode 8: "Frame Toby"
Show:
The Office
Related Quotes:
Dwight Schrute Quotes, The Office Season 5 Episode 8 Quotes, The Office Quotes
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The Office Season 5 Episode 8 Quotes

Michael: Look at him. With his stupid face. Stupid... tan. No.
Dwight: He looks great.
Michael: No.
Dwight: Well rested.
Michael: He looks worse.

Angela: Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast, are they even touching your tongue?
Kevin: Yes.
Dwight: Brownies is it? Hm. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat? No thank you, I'll stick with my jerky.
Jim: So why did you come in here?
Dwight: To socialize. And inform.