Cartman: I'm gonna be on television. I'm gonna be on television.
Stan: We don't believe for a minute that you won that contest fairly, fat boy.
Cartman: Oh, stop defending your girlfriend for writing about some stupid fish.
Stan: Dude, dolphins aren't stupid. They're intelligent and friendly.
Cartman: Intelligent and friendly on rye bread with some mayonnaise.

Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh
South Park Season 1 Episode 2: "Weight Gain 4000"
South Park
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South Park Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

Mayor: Come on, people! We've got to turn this place around! Hang up those lights, put up that banner, castrate the cows!
Cows: Moo?!

Mr. Garrison: Thanks. Hello Officer Barbrady.
Officer Barbrady: Nice gun.
Mr. Garrison: Thanks. Is there somewhere in town where I can get a good clear shot- er, view of Kathie Lee?
Officer Barbrady: You know, I think the book depository would be a good bet.