Well, you want some tea, Shelly? Everyone is pretending to be younger. We dye our hair, we whiten our teeth, we wear moisturizing face masks that make us look like serial killers, and we squeeze our widening hips into Spanx because the most important thing to be in the whole goddamn world is 27. Should I have told the truth? Sure. But you know what? So should you. Millennial isn't an age, it's an attitude. And if you can't sell that, we'll go somewhere else.