Turk: I'm thinking about asking Carla out today. What do you think?
J.D.: I think the janitor's out to get me.
Turk: Wow. Thank you so much for your help. You know what? Why don't you be just a little bit more paranoid?

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J.D., Turk
Scrubs Season 1 Episode 2: "My Mentor"
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Scrubs Season 1 Episode 2 Quotes

Turk [about Carla]: I'm not really interested in her.
Todd: Yeah? Then maybe the Todd'll show that little biscuit some love.
[Turk stars down Todd]
J.D.'s narration: Maybe he's a little interested.
Todd: Fine. Todd'll show himself some love

J.D.: So, yes. As of now, you have no signs of cancer.
Will: Wow! Who rules? Will rules.
J.D.: Will, it's important you realise this isn't great news.
Will: Are you sure? 'Cause that's how it first hit me