Tom Tucker: In local news, a sexy new trend has emerged at James Woods High.
Diane Simmons: That's right Tom, It appears that students have taken to having ear sex, in lieu of traditional intercourse.
Tom Tucker: Over two hundred reports of ear sex have been confirmed so far, prompting a new slogan, "Once you go Black, you go deaf".


Unrated
Characters:
Tom Tucker, Diane Simmons
Episode:
Family Guy Season 5 Episode 6: "Prick Up Your Ears"
Show:
Family Guy
Related Quotes:
Tom Tucker Quotes, Diane Simmons Quotes, Family Guy Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes, Family Guy Quotes
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Family Guy Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes

Lois: Look Meg, A, Ear sex is just unnatural, and B, how do I say this, vaginal intercourse is...it..its just tops! It's the bee's knees Meg. Oh, when your rattle it around just right, oh my god! I mean, you remember when we had that old car with the bad shocks, and I used to take the old dirt road on purpose! Meg! Meg?
(pans to see Brian in the doorway)
Brian: I love you.

(to drug addicts) There's a lot of ways for you guys to save money. For example, you're all shootin' up, why not share needles? That's a no brainer. More money in your wallet, more drugs in your veins. My second piece of advice, have as many kids as you can, 'cuz that makes it more likely that one of those kids'll grow up an make it big in Hollywood. Then who's payin' the bills huh? Hollywood Kid. Class dismissed.

Peter