Charlie: Jake, what's this? A phone message?
Jake: Yeah, some lady called for you.
Charlie: Who? I can't read your writing.
Jake [reading the paper]: You're a big selfish jerk.
Charlie: Ok, I know who this is. Amy—probably Amy.
Jake: Yup, Amy


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Characters:
Charlie Harper, Jake Harper
Episode:
Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 6: "Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?"
Show:
Two and a Half Men
Related Quotes:
Charlie Harper Quotes, Jake Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 6 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 1 Episode 6 Quotes

Evelyn: We are going to have a nice dinner, you are going to be charming, and Tommy's going to remain oblivious to the fact that you defiled his daughter.
Charlie: Hey, she wasn't exactly filed when I met her.

Charlie: I just want you to know that in my way I want you to be happy, and I love you.
Evelyn: Well, I guess I'll go pack.
Charlie: Why?
Evelyn: Oh, I'm going home.
Charlie: In the middle of the night?
Evelyn: Charlie, you just said you loved me. You can only screw it up from here