J.D.: Look, I'm sorry I was such a jerk yesterday, okay? I mean, come on, look at this floor! You could practically eat off of it!
Janitor: Would you?
J.D.: Would I what?
Janitor: Would you eat off the floor?
J.D.'s Narration: As I bent down to eat that peppered floor turkey, unaware that the cleanser the Janitor uses is an extremely potent diuretic, I realized something... the reason we're doctors is because we have an innate desire to help people.
Janitor: That was disgusting.

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J.D., The Janitor
Scrubs Season 2 Episode 22: "My Dream Job"
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Scrubs Season 2 Episode 22 Quotes

Spence: Well, I'm sorry you guys can't make the wedding.
J.D.: Yeah, well, give the guys a big kiss for us.
Turk Don't forget to tell 'em that the ferret only eats fresh vegetables.
Spence: I'm gonna miss you guys... Heh heh, I'll see you later.

J.D.'s Narration: Really, all you can hope for is just an occasional thank-you.
J.D.: I'm so glad the medication worked on your foot.
Mr. Graff: So I'm supposed to be happy because someone finally did something right?
J.D.'s Narration: You're welcome.