Kelso: Methinks it's quitting time. Goodnight, Gooch. Ted.
Ted: That's it? I've been your whipping for eight years and all I get before I disappear forever is a wet clammy handshake? And, yes, I know that's from my hand not yours. And, yes, I know we've never really been friends. And, yes, I know the Gooch is way too attractive for me. I know that's not relevant right now, but it's always on my mind. [to Gooch]: Please don't leave me for a baritone.
Gooch: I won't.
Kelso: Ted, I'm so hammered right now all I can think of is those thirty cent hot dogs at the gas station, so wrap it up.
Ted: You owe me more than a handshake.

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Bob Kelso, Ted Buckland
Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4: "Our Histories"
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Scrubs Season 9 Episode 4 Quotes

Lucy: If you want to keep sleeping with me I expect you to have my back.
Turk: God, you have so many rules. Get back, listen to you when you talk, stay out of your purse. Damn girl, quit playing games.

Drew: Cole, I need the retractor.
Cole [eating a sandwich]: I'm using it right now.
Drew: Seriously?
Cole: Yeah, I don't like touching bread, it creeps me out.