Lois: Oh Brian, it is so nice of you to take Meg to this dance. It really means a lot to her.
Brian: Ya got any weed?
Lois: I put it in your coat pocket.


Unrated
Characters:
Brian Griffin, Lois Griffin
Episode:
Family Guy Season 5 Episode 8: "Barely Legal"
Show:
Family Guy
Related Quotes:
Brian Griffin Quotes, Lois Griffin Quotes, Family Guy Season 5 Episode 8 Quotes, Family Guy Quotes
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Family Guy Season 5 Episode 8 Quotes

Brian: You know, Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a bitch.
Connie: Excuse me?
Meg: Brian, let's just go.
Brian: No, no, no, no, no. Now hang on... hang on, Meg, hang on. You see, Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started putting out when you were 12. But now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a whore. So, you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age 19, you're going to be a worn-out, chalky-skinned burlap sack that even your step-dad won't want. How's that? Am I in the ballpark?
(Connie cries and runs)

Quagmire: What are you doing?
Joe: I'm watching Bonnie undress.
Cleveland: Bonnie's your wife.
Joe: I like to watch her strip, and pretend she's a total stranger who looks exactly like my wife and lives in my house. Get naked, you strange whore!!