OK look, I was waiting to talk to you about this because secretly I was hoping you'd be killed and I wouldn't have to hurt your feelings. I just don't think it would work out with us. You're nuts. And not like a typical crazy-ass co-ed but 'wake up with my penis in a jar' lunatic. Now that puts me in a tough spot because that also means you'd be the screw of my life. I mean that kind of insanity means your muffin is like Space Mountain levels of fun. I love Space Mountain. Best ride at Disneyland. But I love my penis more.

Chad