Quotes
I wish my first roommate hadn't died of old age!
Liz
Jenna: What were you even doing at that bachelor party?
Liz: Derek thought I was a guy and I didn't want to ruin what was happening between us.
It's like I'm in a cage, and not the fun kind where you dance while USC football recruits throw hot coins at you.
Jenna
If PETA doesn't love you or hate you, you're a nobody, like a soldier or a teacher.
Jenna
Liz: What are those?
Jenna: Leaches. They're good for your skin, and I've lost tons of blood weight.
You just bought Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's bones, and he's not even dead!
Dot Com
Here's to another successful operation by the Best Friends Gang.
Kelsey
In school, all you learn about Abraham Lincoln is that he was a gay alcoholic.
Kenneth
Jack: Our new slogan, NBC: We have a magical horse, is testing...okay.
Idiots aren't just strippers, or stay at home moms.
Tracy
Criss: I don't understand your relationship with Liz...
Jack: She's my subordifriend.
These microphones look like black ice cream cones.
Denise