Ryan: Read a book or something.
Wilfred: A book? Yeah right. Maybe if it had pictures...that moved...and sound...and Matt Damon in it...and in the middle of the movie Matt Damon'd be like (makes gun noises)...now there's a book I'd like to read.

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Wilfred Season 2 Episode 5: "Now"
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Wilfred Season 2 Episode 5 Quotes

This is all your fault. How come every time I follow you somewhere I lose my wallet?


You just put a footprint on the Mona Lisa. Did you see the swirl on that masterpiece? The form, the texture, the taper of pinch point? What do I bother? You don't know shit.