Charlie: Remember how you were a bed wetter until you were eight?
Alan: Yeah.
Charlie: You actually stopped at six.
Alan: What? What did you do? Did you sneak into my room and pour warm water on me while I was asleep?
Charlie: Yeah, okay. Let's say that it was water, and that I poured it

Charlie Harper, Alan Harper
Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 6: "The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance"
Two and a Half Men
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Charlie Harper Quotes, Alan Harper Quotes, Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 6 Quotes, Two and a Half Men Quotes
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Two and a Half Men Season 2 Episode 6 Quotes

Alan: You cracked the parental code on the cable box again didn't you?
Jake: It's 1234. Even a monkey could crack that

Alan: Tell Jake what you told me last night.
Charlie: Oh, okay, sure. Jake, your father didn't steal the Silly Putty, I did.
Jake: Really?
Charlie: Yeah, I stuck it in his pocket, so if anything happened, he'd be the one to get in trouble.
Alan: What do you think now, Jake?
Jake: I think Uncle Charlie's a genius