She needs to lose thirty pounds or gain sixty. Anything in between has no place on television.


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Jack Donaghy
30 Rock Season 2 Episode 1: "SeinfeldVision"
30 Rock
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30 Rock Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

Lemon, women your age are more likely to get mauled at the zoo than get married.


Jack: All of my summer replacement shows were big hits - America's Next Top Pirate, Are You Stronger Than A Dog, MILF Island.
Liz: MILF Island?
Jack: 25 super hot moms, 50 eighth grade boys, no rules.
Liz: Oh yeah, didn't one of those women turn out to be a prostitute?
Jack: That doesn't mean she's not a wonderful, caring MILF.