Caroline: Dammit, I got a straight one.
Max: What makes you think he's straight
Caroline: He keeps pushing my head down before I'm ready.

The Pill's like 50 bucks a month, that's more than it costs to raise a damn baby.


Wait Max, can I hold the million? For just one more second I want to be upper middle class.


Deke, you can’t be my boyfriend. From now on, I’m like Welfare. You have to be broke to get some.


Han: Be careful, you’re the very first.
Max: We know how long you've been waiting to say that to a woman.

Max: I’ll be right back. If you mess up our batter, I’ll cut your thing off.
Deke: Sweet, I could stand to lose 5 pounds.

Deke: You were amazing. I love you.
Max: I love you too.

Max: If you ever interrupt me while studying…
Deke: And having sex.
Max: again, I will drop kick your baby powered ass back to the shire with the other hobbits.
Han: I told her.
Caroline: Did you?!

  • Permalink: Did you?!
  • Added:

You know, I once had sex on a bus and I was driving it. Oh...... were those kids late to school.


Sophie: I just heard two hobos getting freaking in the garbage.
Caroline: Sophie, that was Max and Deke.

Max: You live in a dumpster?
Deke: This is usually where the girl says she has to be up early tomorrow or calls the police. So do you have to go?
Max: Yeah. I have to go inside that freaking cool dumpster!

Max: I’m willing to throw 10-15 dollars at this thing.
Deke: You want to throw 15 dollars at my thing? Great! I usually charge five.

2 Broke Girls Quotes

You think this (clicking the fingers) is the sound that gets you service, I think that´s the sound that dries up my vagina.


Hey, when you get a second, stop staring at my boobs.