Deke: We can watch TV with your shirts off.
Max: Maybe and I will buy you some dinner if you put out.

Caroline: Well, I did it. I saved the neighborhood.
Max: You had a car towed; you didn't burn down the Bed Bath and Beyond.

Deke: But just so you know, nothing happened between me and Judy last night.
Max: That’s lame. If you like a girl, you should just grab her and kiss her.
Deke: Ok [grabs Max and kisses her].

  • Permalink: Ok .
  • Added:

Caroline: Well, there’s Nicholas. I was not prepared for this.
Max: Really? Cuz we spent the entire subway ride preparing you for this.

Earl: [Han walks in dressed in large snow suit] Still don’t know where Han is, but the new Bond villain just arrived.
Oleg: Now there’s an even bigger Octopussy in town.

Martha Stewart: I will taste it
Caroline: You will?
Martha Stewart: I like your entrepreneur drive. And I have a feeling it's the only way I'm getting out of here alive.

Max: slow down your heart.
Earl: Sorry I'm late, but if I run any faster cops tend to pull guns on me.

Get your cupcake on, because we are going to get BALLED!


Earl: Why Johnny, if it isn't the famous street artist.
Johnny: I'm hardly famous.
Earl: I know, my comment was laced with sarcasm.

Don't exhale on me; your breath is like you went down on a brussel sprout.


Oleg: I have a new town car service and slogan: "Lie back and I will ride you until you tell me to stop."

Just because there is snow on the roof, doesn't mean there is not swing in the sling


2 Broke Girls Quotes

You think this (clicking the fingers) is the sound that gets you service, I think that´s the sound that dries up my vagina.


Hey, when you get a second, stop staring at my boobs.