Martha Stewart: I will taste it
Caroline: You will?
Martha Stewart: I like your entrepreneur drive. And I have a feeling it's the only way I'm getting out of here alive.

Max: slow down your heart.
Earl: Sorry I'm late, but if I run any faster cops tend to pull guns on me.

Get your cupcake on, because we are going to get BALLED!


Earl: Why Johnny, if it isn't the famous street artist.
Johnny: I'm hardly famous.
Earl: I know, my comment was laced with sarcasm.

Don't exhale on me; your breath is like you went down on a brussel sprout.


Oleg: I have a new town car service and slogan: "Lie back and I will ride you until you tell me to stop."

Just because there is snow on the roof, doesn't mean there is not swing in the sling


I will only have one, when I get a tummy, ladies call me Budha a rub me for luck.


What are you in the league of extraordinarily pretentious gentlemen?


Steampunk! I remember that fad, it lasted for about 10 minutes back in two-thousand-and-are you kidding me?


Max: Wait, you've never kissed her?
Oleg: Not on the lips of her face. But that day will come.

Caroline: Sometime you do something you're not comfortable with. It's how you grow.
Max: No, it's how you get a ride home from a kegger in the woods.

2 Broke Girls Season 1 Quotes

Max: Your name is Bryce? Bryce Lee?
Mr Lee: Yes, I heard that name in One Tree Hill... good show.

You think this (clicking the fingers) is the sound that gets you service, I think that´s the sound that dries up my vagina.